Silent tears of the poet

[RATField]

Sigh...I am now being in hard time, and very desperate that could commit suicide...just that I can not, die yet. I would stand until my body perish, my soul's penetrated.

The Fallen Warrior

I the loner wolf, I the killing warlord
Standing in the darkness with no fear
See through all thingies as lives falling down
I the Lord of All.

I the Unbeatable, I the glory champion
Fighting in the dead and living
Slash through all till no one 's still alive
May God scare me.

You the sacred Angel, shining to my eyes
Charmed me the full love with no end
Know through my thoughts as I come forth
You, I love you.

I the fighter of might, made the way to you
Love you till the end, hold you tight
Confess you to deepest of my heart
You would love me.

You the shining love, bless me till the end
Masked you face in light with no shame
Guided me to the dead end as I falling down
I the true loser.

You the one who lie, blind me with the light
Always I was in darkness with no love
See through all but not the light you gave me all
I the dead one.

I the one flying, in the cool night sky
Wishing you'll be happy with no lie
Free from all chains as my life fading to darkness
Shall one bestows me.

The last moment I see you, my back's hurt
Thrusting through my heart, the hidden blade
You yourself did it, then throw me to the free sky
You the last winner.

I never know what love you gave to me,
How can I keep living when you has betrayed my love
I only know that I am not in your heart,
Just a dummy in place of your old love.

Oh the fool me, I am dead already
But I love you till the end, don't you know
I will keep on loving you, just when I see your light
I know that's no lies

But the later light...
You've changed, ain't you
You are not the one I've seen before
I the Fallen Warrior

Shall I bless you...​

That's it, oh ho, my heart's broken so badly now.

 

[Kanone]

Usually i really don't understand the differences of assonance and consonance , i think it's complex and i want to keep the way of creating simple.

But the "rhyme couplet" i mentioned above is to create....hmmm.... i changed my mind, i think it's for the rhyme not the consonance (as the name also mentioned)

Even consonance, assonance, alliteration and rhyme are important. I only choose rhyme to be my best fella in poem, as long as my poem continue the very basic rule : create the rhyme.Then it make a poem itself.So maybe we can consider Rap could be called poem, without flowery words.

Sorry for making you feel confusing, but an average poet like me can't explain more about consonance, assonance, alliteration and rhyme (for my knowledge is limited), and i think it's all the same (how shameful), i just want to write with the flow of emotions, i did ignore many rules but i have my poem at last . So you're right, assonance and consonance should not be the #1 problem when you make poem.

Still, the "rhyme couplet", i think it's need some example to understand it easier:

[A,A]
[B,B]
[C,C]
[D,D]


I do it like that, the assonance and consonance are difficult for me to obtain in my poem , mostly rhyme.

oh I got it
The thing you are talking about is assonances.
:hug:.That's great.We can share knowledges.
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/lit_terms/assonance.html
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/lit_terms/consonance.html
:hug:now I got the rules
I'm gonna write one poem tomorrow.^^
thx u a lot
how can u know about writing poem?
Is that one part of our education system in Vietnam?
or it is your interest?

 

[RATField]

@ to logean : I said, and that's what I said. I will try to write a song soon...or a new poem?

Whatever, I'm kinda busy right now, hope ya would come to the plain often. And...can ya make some comments about my poems, dude?

 

[logean]

@Kanone: as you know, poetry in our education system is boring somehow, they don't teach how to make poem so i feel like a dumbass when i started wanting to write something T_T
For poem i think we should use English, it can describe and express our feeling also emotion more precise.It's hard like hell for me to make a poem in
Vietnamese
Hope i will see your poem soon

@RATfield:Of course i will, but i commented "The Fallen Warrior" when we chatted, have you forgotten ?
I wrote "Regret" as a tribute for you, my friend.

Regret

My friend, why are you here again ?
With your red eyes filled with pain
Standing alone, under this heavy rain
Was you waiting for someone to understand ?

Betrayed heart, it's crying secretly
Can you hold on a pain that hurt deeply ?
Your flowers are stained with love
As this regret burns forever in my blood

A teardrop fall unto silence
Kiss the wound with sweet endurement
In your heart they are forgiven
I cry and loath, for your innocence

Your sacrifice it's never worth
Who is alone and no one comfort?
Your tears they never care
Still longs for love through all despairs

No longer i can stand by your side
The door's opened, i saw the light
I will be gone when the sun rise
Let me last wipe these tears on your eyes

​

 

[Kanone]

@Kanone: as you know, poetry in our education system is boring somehow, they don't teach how to make poem so i feel like a dumbass when i started wanting to write something T_T
For poem i think we should use English, it can describe and express our feeling also emotion more precise.It's hard like hell for me to make a poem in
Vietnamese
Hope i will see your poem soon

@RATfield:Of course i will, but i commented "The Fallen Warrior" when we chatted, have you forgotten ?
I wrote "Regret" as a tribute for you, my friend.

Regret

My friend, why are you here again ?
With your red eyes filled with pain
Standing alone, under this heavy rain
Was you waiting for someone to understand ?

Betrayed heart, it's crying secretly
Can you hold on a pain that hurt deeply ?
Your flowers are stained with love
As this regret burns forever in my blood

A teardrop fall unto silence
Kiss the wound with sweet endurement
In your heart they are forgiven
I cry and loath, for your innocence

Your sacrifice it's never worth
Who is alone and no one comfort?
Your tears they never care
Still longs for love through all despairs

No longer i can stand by your side
The door's opened, i saw the light
I will be gone when the sun rise
Let me last wipe these tears on your eyes

​

hell no,I disagree with your opinion.English is strict language but not as beautiful as vietnamese.

My teacher procrastinate the assignment until next week so I would save the time for studying SAT:devil:.I promise that I would try next week.

 

[logean]

language is just a tool, i feel kinda easier to write poem in English, and that's why i'm weird

I guess your poem gonna finish in no time

 

[Kanone]

The fact speak louder the eloquent voice

I lived consistenly,
As a king in my own world.
I cheered up some people,
Still,dissatisfied the others.
There a profusion of entities in the life
I did not realize.
Living with my selfish happiness
I thought this way was the best .
Suddenly,one girl had came.
She said :“Something is wrong”.
It was the first time,
I know how sweet the love is.
And she helped me
To realize how important the family is
The sacred words I had forgotten for long time.
Recognize more of that,
In the days of studying abroad.
She gave me the power to live
To overcome all of the obstacles.
For me,she is an angel.
But suddenly,she disappeared.
Leave me alone with my naïve dream.
Where are you now,my angel?
Your absence make my way untraceable
Maybe one day I will laugh
For my extreme ingenuousness.
Maybe you are my special guest
Step in then step out my life.
How many times did I cry,
With sorrow and regret in the night?
Who will see my try,
Except for my parents.
Nowadays,I live with my passion.
You know that I’m too stubborn
To face the reality of the life.
Because I always wish you would return
To make my daydream come true.
I never give up my hope.
I saw many beautiful girls
But no one can be as beautiful as you
In both appearance and mind through my life.
I love you !
I will live arrogantly and innocently
And dare the ravages of time
To testify my love.

I did that before I have to add the imaginer,5 senses into this poem.
And I'm hunger for the comments.

 

[logean]

Well then, no more Mr. nice guy

Frankly, i see something like this is not very good for a poem

NO TITLE !??

It really does help us alot, you know

And the length could be considered...nice, quite enjoyable when you read the whole story step by step in each verse.However, the way you use the words is too "bare" for me , it's mean... like when you want to say something you say it out, it's not make me thinking, you know.

In the other hand, if this is the very first poem you wrote, i'd like to say it's impressive :wink:

I'd rate this nameless poem 3/5 and that's how it is.

 

[Kanone]

Well then, no more Mr. nice guy

Frankly, i see something like this is not very good for a poem

NO TITLE !??

It really does help us alot, you know

And the length could be considered...nice, quite enjoyable when you read the whole story step by step in each verse.However, the way you use the words is too "bare" for me , it's mean... like when you want to say something you say it out, it's not make me thinking, you know.

In the other hand, if this is the very first poem you wrote, i'd like to say it's impressive :wink:

I'd rate this nameless poem 3/5 and that's how it is.

:hug:
You know
I want to add some symbolism into this poem
But I think that maybe my teacher don't know much about our way of thinking.It is part of different culture.
I can't use easily figuretive meaning.The last time when I wrote some novels,with some symbolism,the teacher just don't get it.
And when I read some transcendentalism poem,I can't find any symbolism too.

I'm supposed to write about my unresolved memory,and I wrote about my first love.
:hug: I will ask the teacher to help me add some more nghĩa ngầm vào đây.
::) nah,it is my second poem.
thx u a lot
can I ask how long did you study english?
I'm really impressive about your poems
sometimes,I have time and read some of your poems in here.THe more I read,the more I

 

[logean]

Shame on me, i only learn English for a couple of years...and even failed one years at my academy.

My poems are mostly crap , thanks a lot for telling me it's have some little value :hug:

Still, i wanna make some incestuous relationship poems, it's more intriguing, don't you think so ? Or it's taboo to write stuff like that ? ::(

 

[RATField]

Endless Infernum in One
(Inspired from my fic : Events of Death : The Second Event : Endless Infernum)

"Steel thy soul, the fallen one"
"As there's no hope from anywhere
Scene of dark depths bestowed his eyes
No escape for a Fallen One."

"Tere would be thou on this cliff"
"No stairs, no wings nor hopes can reach me
Thy shall fall far therfaith sky
No way out for the liar of death"

"No ones be with thou, liar"
"Just as me respected no others but selves
There's no truth in any lies would take
No reasons why the liar be excused"

"Tis is why, thy soul's caged
As there's no wings for yi to fly
End the dark in the endless truth
Me fear not the blame of thou"

"No truth, no lies, no even fate
Not known why just truth is good"
"In the thy shall good bad nor lie
Yi can learn nothing from Infernum"

"Steel thy soul, till thou fear not
nei obvilion nor hell, the Lost Thou"
"No ending for the glimpse of death
Th'me escaped by ending my life"

"Thy exists, the Soul of Steel
W'ere no lives k'an kover the th'ruth"
"Scene of death wouldn't be escaped itself
There's no death for a truly soul"

"Te shoul of death, te after life
Thou creates ways for thyself loot
Where no words changes the freedom thy
Yis free fo al eternity"

"When all chains are gone shot
Would thy soul blessed by th'me
Turning back from all the past
Yi say love me, for eternity"

"I the divine one of yours
Shall bestow you nothing but love
There's no stop for evelasting love
No truth or lies can break in

For that you've tried so hard to speak
The Human's tongue you hate
I shall bless you with tis
I love you so much, my dear."​

 

[logean]

Dude i really can't see any points of your poem, you should at least let us read your fiction once so the poem would be more comprehensive.

Until now i can say "Fallen Warrior" is your best poem so far, it's more emotional and stronger than any poem of yours i've ever seen

I hope you can come up with something else in a near future. :wink:

My latest melancholy

Sadistic Ballad

For the snowflake melt at dawn
Of beauty never be astounded
What remained on the auric sky
Was the sound of your echoed cry

White nights of never ending dream
Fading slowly in moonlight beam
This wine glass of tears taste so bitter
I was banished from Eden forever

We were the tempests that spinned
For each other we vowed to lean
Our dance changed the sky's color
Through day and night, everlasting fire

Enchantress, rise your sadistic ballad
Of love and happiness that never last
Despite a honest heart, faithful soul
Nothing we can treasure, only sorrow

So long i've wondered in silence
Between us was it no difference ?
Hearts longs for love, soul fear of pain
As if fate, our end still be the same

Gazing alone at the blackened sky
Will there be a star for me to find ?
All i have here is your heartless song
The sadistic ballad for the time has gone​

 

[RATField]

The more ya read it, the more part it will reveal before ya eyes. I had never made any poem without a buncha story and idea.

I mean, ya would understand all of it without my fic

Just that words of Felstanmia is hardly human's tongue, and voice of Tastar, the one hunting her is of a truly fallen warrior still trying to lie her in order to kill her. Their last confontation took place in Endless Infernum, which created by Mind, so can be changed by mind of ones being in it. One without courage, will fall to bottomless hole of Abyss.

In the end, they fell in love with each other.

The only things I didn't mention in the poem is their names, and the tales of Endless Infernum. Though, Endless Infernum exists in myth, I thought ya should've known about it.

 

[logean]

I'm also not expecting people to understand what i'm talking about in my poem, cuss it's all coming out from my head and it's the thing only i know what it mean 100%.Somehow when the reader understand 50% i'm totally happy, but i'm not happy now cuss i only get 40% from your poem ::(

Was not right, neither wrong

Was not right, neither wrong
We're apart for our hearts were not strong
Why so fast, like a storm
We breath even our hearts were painfully torn

This eternal misery is my life
And these tears find nowhere else to hide
We were hurt, deep inside
May i doubt that can we ever comfortably die ?

Can the blade end this regret ?
The remorse beat i shall rip out from my chest
Memories that i will never forget
To recall, i have no more peace to rest

My soul, the broken window
Outside the dark cloud rise for tomorrow
Weeping alone, young crow of sorrow
Wish it didn't burn down the precious meadow

Was not right, neither wrong
Now our hearts are old and forlorn
We can't cry, but silently mourn
To the grave, these pain will forever be gone​

 

[logean]

For her everlasting faith

Too cruel to die

Are you not my king, merciful husband ?
Why you put me into this executing dark prison?
My love for you was condemned as treason
Despite i threw my life to draw out the poison

You used to whisper in my ears with ardent passion
Vowed to love me no matter what happen
Now I'm crying for your hand and being beaten
You turned and walked away, was my blood forsaken ?

His love song was for me but i didn't listen
Death may prove my heart is clean and golden
Will you save me at the last moment?
When the blade take my head to eternal silence

They drag me out when the sky was enlightened
Aurora shares with me the pain of no fair judgment
As the glimpsed light glitters from afar heaven
Too weak to save a faithful heart of innocence

"You will never remember but please kiss me goodbye
For that to recall our time on my lonely paradise
To stop these tears are flowing from my darkened eyes
Please hold me one last time before the morning arise
You may kill me with the reason i can never find
But it's too cruel to die without you by my side
Leave my dead body for the dog if you like
To live as you please it's long been decided
You're my only man, please don't make me cry
After the blade fall, there maybe no one care for you tonight"​

 

[logean]

And the rain falling again and again

"A canary which lost her soul...
Ohh how awful, she bears such sorrow
Feathered heart can no longer lift
On the ground alone she weep
A canary with her wings 're bleeding
Sails to the sky she was belonging
In the middle of my sleepless night
The mournful breeze was so lonely as her cry..."

My dear, why you listen to this song?
With my love can't your sadness be gone?
You're not lost, also bleeding
Somehow it was me, feared and crying

"And the rain falling again and again
Softly as a teardrop of her endless pain
Winter has covered all traces to the sky
To the utter void she whispers and crys
Asking the stars why he left her behind
But his warmth still lingers in her mind
Now she has found a new shelter
Until death, she will wait for him forever..."

Every nights when we are close in bed
Your body was here but nothing less
To where outside you're staring
It's cold and dark, for whom you're waiting ?

"And the rain falling again and again..."

Forevermore...
​

 

[logean]

Mother

Tonight i'm leaving mother Earth
I betrayed her for mistress Venus
Marching through the fierce darkened sky
Alone and cold, i merely close my eyes
I fear so much for what will be
If a new home have the endless sea
A deep blue sky like my mother's eye
And the sweet love i can never find

In dream, her words remind me kindly:
"Child, when you're sad just run back to me
I always here for you to see
My heart grows old without your hug
Like i did before, when you was hurt
Years were dashing faster than a flash
One day, you flied away from me so fast
Wherever you go, i will be waiting
For i know, you will return for me and crying..."

Awake and my eyes filled with tears
Why i was so cold when she stayed near?
Her hands save my life so many times
To raise me, she was cursed and damned
No longer mother can stand by my side
I regret until the last day of this life
Now where i can find her again?
To scream i need her so much, before the end

In my nameless grave, her voice's rising:
"Dear, why did you cry?
You must be tricked and suffered outside
By your best friends and your beloved
Through your eyes i can say how painful it hurts
Too many scars in your lonely soul
Forgive yourself, it's only sorrow
My lullaby will wipe away all your sadness
To paradise you must peacefully rest..."

Mother, i'm the worst awful shame
But your love for me still remains the same
Tonight i lay down slowly on your bosom
My withered heart once again can be blossomed
How long has it been to feel this sensation?
Love in this cold world was long forbidden
You're the Earth and fatally contaminated
It's my greed that torn you and penetrated

"Child, i gave birth for you to end my life..."

-Mother-​

 

[logean]

Rock, rap and rhyme

For my sake


Flowers, gift and poems for the lady
In exchange I only have my misery
So pitiful that my pride is lower than love
Will it be worthy if I'm the one who's getting hurt

The battle constantly wage within
Need to realize that I have to give up fighting
So tired, too much pressure in my life
I lost the shame even I'm being defied

Like god tell me what to do
"Make them respect you !"
Like it's the end of my faith
When I realized nothing left for my sake

It's not a romantic play of Shakespeare
Lovers they always bond through many tears
Those bitters drop I took all alone
It's not that simple to let it all gone

"I told you many times my feeling aren't fake
When your eyes move I trembled and shake
But still it wasn't not enough to make a sense
Why you have to turned your back and defensed
A mistake would be a stain, might it be?
Then, I would better make you see"

I should cremate what I live to treasure
For its ashes would be my eternal pleasure
Look, I'm not what you think
Once again I felt the perfect bliss from burning​

 

[logean]

Dear sis Cruel

Thanks for fulfilling my request of closing my previous poetry topic, because I haven't had enough time for poem, now I'm free and wild so I'm into this stuff again ^^, I hope you won't feel piss off because I open the second poetry topic just to satisfy myself, I also want to see some nice poems from everyone too, of course.
This time I decide to keep this topic forever, even I'm gonna be busy like hell soon .


Dear reader and pals: we are gonna release our rhythmical flow and the ardent passion, right ?

Let me be the first ^^

For My Love

I woke up and can't remember
Is it a last day of December ?
Falling the first snow of my winter
With my eyes laid on this love letter

Is sadness brings this winter breeze?
How many tears have fallen within me
Will you be there for me to see?
Or like the tides that fade eventually...?

For my love, this poem will be a wind
I wish its warmth would bring you the spring
And the eternal winter, will remain here
Within my heart, alone in fear

I woke up and cant remember
Is it our last day together?
Could this be why I'm feeling withered?
When I knew nothing could last forever​

 

[cruelshade]

I knew this day would come. Sorry but I've never deleted your previous one.
http://forum.gamevn.com/showthread.php?t=387592