Sonic grunting / training sound effects
Sonic: I feel great! This is the most success I’ve had until now!
Sonic: I’m in the best shape of my life!
Sonic: it’s about time I defeat that guy
Sonic: muheheheheh
Sonic: just you wait, Saitama!
Boom
Sonic: WOAAARGH
Sonic: why?! Why can’t I beat you!?
Saitama: just give it up already, will ya?
Saitama: including this one, you’ve already lost to me a total of 4 times
Sonic: ELEVEN TIMES!
Saitama: eh? That many?
Sonic: don’t tell me you don’t even remember our epic death matches!
Saitama: well you’re always attacking me while I’m eating, of course I’m going to prioritize the food
Sonic: I’ve left less of an impression on you than food?!
Sonic: damn you…you’re not even having anything fancy! Focus on our battle you hear me?!
Saitama: don’t you underestimate food, they are all created equal
Saitama: slurp~ slurp~ gulp. Eh…it’s a little burnt…
Sonic: stop talking while slurping noodles!
Sonic: damn it, why should I loser to an cup-noodle-eating loser!
Sonic: next time, I swear!
Saitama: are you coming again?
Saitama: I see, alrighty then
Saitama: but I do have one condition if you want to fight me again
Sonic: no way, is he going to set a time and a place for a proper showdown?
Saitama: since you’re always here while I’m eating
Saitama: how about you time your arrival right after I’ve added hot water?
Sonic: don’t you dare imply you can finish me in 3 minutes!
Sonic grunting
Sonic: finally…I’m back to home base
Sonic: these injuries are pretty serious …
Sonic: this level of training is useless against Saitama
Sonic: must I start from the beginning?
Sonic: but…repeating these ordinary training methods over and over…
Sonic: will that really lead me to victory?
Sonic: slowly but surely, the continued defeats are making me lose my confidence
Sonic: will my ninjutsu really become effective against him one day?
Flashback
Saitama: Sonic? Oh you’re that guy with the ninja name
Saitama: Sonic Whatever
Sonic: My name is not Sonic Whatever! It’s Speed-O’-Sound Sonic!
Sonic: now that I think about it, he didn’t even remember my name
Sonic: it’s even worse than not leaving an impression!
Sonic: this anxiety…
Sonic: I know there’s no chance of victory
Sonic: but I just can’t let it go without winning at least once
Sonic: what would others do in a situation like this?
Sonic: faced with the overwhelming power of hornets, bees will unleash whatever little power they have in their stingers;
Sonic: skunks and hedgehogs can overcome physical disparities using their abilities
Sonic: yet here I am, challenging him with reckless abandon
Sonic: if it’s him, if it’s Saitama…
Sonic: what would he do differently?
Wind blows
Sonic: ah…that’s right!
Sonic: if I were to become Saitama and live his life, maybe I’ll uncover his weakness, and the strategy to beating him!
Sonic: I’m a ninja, disguising myself as another person is my expertise
Sonic: first appearance
Sonic: after carefully observing Saitama walking the streets from a distance, and gathering relevant information, I spent three days to recreate his outfit with identical material, color and size
Sonic: humph, yellow jumpsuit, white cape, red gloves and boots…
Sonic: alright, it’s perfect!
Sonic: next the way he talks
Sonic: that demotivating tone of voice that pisses me off to no end…
Sonic: as well as his way of responding that screams “…
Sonic: after practicing in front of a mirror, I have almost perfectly mastered Saitama’s speech pattern
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: eh? I can’t be bothered
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: so what?
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: yeah yeah
Sonic: alright, it’s perfect!
Sonic: as for the face, all I have to do is put on a thin mask and add makeup, then wear a bald cap
Sonic: the problem is expression
Sonic: it’s next to impossible to mimic that idiotic, dead-eyed and non-human look
Sonic: no matter how hard I practice, I always end up with a slightly more serious and reserved expression compared to the real thing
Sonic: oh well, I’ll get better once I start living life as him
Sonic: time to leave my home base and start living life as Saitama
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: I am Saitama, I’m still a no-name B Class hero
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: I want to achieve more results and become a high-ranked hero
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: that’s why I’m patrolling outside like this
Sonic: no…this isn’t right
Sonic: that guy would never take it so seriously
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: I am Saitama. Ah…I’m hungry
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: anyone dropped any food?
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: ah! Found some change! Lucky!
Sonic: alright, it should be more like this
Sonic: speaking of, parading around in this outfit…
Sonic: how should I put it…it’s rather embarrassing…
G: sensei! So you’re here!
Sonic: eh…what’s with this guy? Haven’t I met him somewhere?
G: we should have left at the same time after receiving reports of the monster sighting
G: I didn’t see you at the scene and thought maybe you got lost again
G: I have already dispatched the monster
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: aaahhh…is that so…so that’s how that went…
Sonic: accosted by Saitama’s acquaintance all of a sudden…
Sonic: further proof that my disguise is perfect…
G: huh? Is there a problem? Something feels off…
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: non….nonsense, everything is normal
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: eh…you…what’s your name again?
G: eh? Saitama sensei, have you forgotten my name?
G: I am Genos, your…
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: oh that’s right! Genos, it’s Genos isn’t it? My bad, my bad!
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: a monster hit me in the head just now, my memory seems a bit scrambled
G: aaah! A monster that could damage Saitama sensei to such an extent…
G: how could this be!? This is a major crisis!
G: what exactly happened to the monster?
G: have you defeated it?!
G: just what kind of being was it…
G: I want to verify the body, just to make sure
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: heh…about that…
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: I used my proud technique: full-power crotch punch
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: it was badly hurt and ran off into the mountains
G: the mountains is it? Okay, I’ll go chase it down and finish it off right now
sound of Genos blasting off
Sonic: whew, fooled him. Glad that’s over
Sonic: but this is not enough
Sonic: I can’t just low-key live his life without a purpose
Sonic: I must imitate its every aspect in order to better understand him
Sonic: and in order to understand Saitama, I must learn about his relations with other heroes, as well as engage in hero activities from his point of view
Sonic: alright, time to march into the very heart of my enemy!
Sonic: hmph, so this is the Hero Association HQ?
Sonic: the security at the entrance is too lax. Infiltrating is not a problem for a ninja like myself
Sonic: so, will I uncover the key to Saitama’s secret power here?
Atomic Samurai: hey you, what are you doing here?
Sonic: hm?
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: ah…I heard I was needed at the HQ for urgent business, so I came
Atomic Samurai: needed…at the…HQ…for…urgent…business? Someone like you?!
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: ooh, I haven’t introduced myself
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: how do you do, my name is Saitama, pleased to meet you
Atomic Samurai: argh…what? Are you implying this is the first time we met?
Atomic Samurai: you, I’ve wanted to tell you this before: you’re such a weirdo
Sonic: tsk, it’s another acquaintance!
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: a…ah! If it isn’t the old man!
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: you got a different vibe going today, I didn’t even notice you!
Atomic Samurai: don’t give me that attitude just because Silver Fang likes you
Atomic Samurai: you might catch a beating, kiddo
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: huh? Just who do you think will be delivering that beating?
Atomic Samurai: what’s that? You want a pick a fight with me?
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: oh excuse me, did I let it slip?
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: the way you said it, sounds like you think you’re stronger than me, old man
Atomic Samurai: hmph, I don’t know where a B-Class hero could possibly get all that confidence…
sound of swords clashing
Sonic: argh! That was fast! I didn’t even see him drew his sword!
Sonic: this guy, he’s no joke!
Atomic Samurai: you need a reality check. I’ve seen too many who gave up their lives so easily.
Sonic: tsk, you’re pretty fast with a sword, but if I get serious, no sword slashes in the world can catch me…
Tatsumaki: wait a minute! Why on earth is the B-Class baldy here?!
Tatsumaki: wasn’t the summon only meant for powerful heroes?
Atomic Samurai: seems like he was called here as well
Tatsumaki: haaa?! Why do I have to go to battle with someone like this?!
Sonic: what’s this kid’s problem?!
Sonic: is Saitama regularly being made fun of by little kids like this?!
Tatsumaki: you want to join me on an operation, then get in the S-Class first!
Tatsumaki: you, the power difference between us….do you not have a fucking clue?!
Sonic: w…what?!
Sonic: does she mean she’s even stronger than Saitama?!
Sonic: no that’s not right. I’ve heard that professional heroes need to manage their popularity
Sonic: as powerful as Saitama is, his hero ranking must have been affected by his average looks and uncouth behavior
Sonic: that’s why he’s only a B-Class hero, right?
Sonic: in contrast, despite being weaker, she must have exploited her childish cuteness to obtain overwhelming popularity and ascend into the ranks of S-Class heroes
Sonic: what a cruel industry
Tatsumaki: to sum it up
Tatsumaki: I don’t care if it’s a collaborative battle plan, or whatever other battle plan
Tatsumaki: including a B-Class hero is unforgivable
Tatsumaki: get the hell out, now!
Sonic, mimicking Saitama: hey, old man, as proud heroes, should any of us be subject to such humiliation?
Atomic Samurai: Tatsumaki doesn’t care, you had better just listen to her and leave
Sonic: damn these guys…
Sonic: since I’m roleplaying Saitama, I’ve got no choice but to leave
Sonic: but don’t think I’ll let it slide if I run into any of you out there!
Tatsumaki: just hurry up and leave already
Sonic: shut up, stupid!
Tatsumaki: haaa?!!
Atomic Samurai: what are you doing?! You’re gonna get killed! Get out of here now!
Sonic: Smokescreen Shuriken!
Atomic Samurai and Tatsumaki coughing
Tatsumaki: where the hell did the smoke come from?
Tatsumaki: hey you! Wait a second!
Atomic Samurai: just like a ninja
Sonic: tsk, damn you, Saitama!
Sonic: it’s all his fault, from the very beginning!
Sonic: damn it! Instead of understanding him, all I’ve done is accumulate a ton of resentment!
Sonic: what a terrible experience it’s been so far, I might as well give up on the disguise!
Sonic: if I keep going, it would bad for my physical and mental health
Kid: mom, that crazy guy in a cape shouting at the sky
Mom: look away
Mom: even though that guy is a professional hero, his career never took off the way he intended
Mom: he’s destined for a hopeless future, and he’s expressing his anger
Kid: oh I see
Kid: I would never want to become a hero like him!
Sonic: argh!
Sonic: is this how the public treat low-ranking heroes?
Sonic: Saitama looks like a brainless idiot
Sonic: but maybe he’s suffering deep down
Mom screaming
Mom: no! Let go of my child now!
Civilian: it’s a monster! The monster has taken the child!
Civilian: it’s dangerous! Run! It’s coming this way!
Sonic: hm?
Monster: I’m the one who got pushed over the edge by screaming kids and loud music in public, Angry Grandpa! (T/N: the original Japanese マジギレ means “really pissed/disgusted” in an old grumpy sort of way, I think)
Monster: I’m gonna teach all the kids around here a lesson in manners!
Monster: and make sure none of them never try to do whatever they want again like it’s a game!
Sirens
Civilian: le…let go of the kid now!
Monster: shut yer trap!
Kid: mom! I’m really scared!
Mom: s…someone! Please save him!
gunshots
Monster: hahahahaha, it’s useless!
Civilian: ahh! It’s hopeless! The police are no
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