- 22/4/04
- 2,365
- 18
Just some rantings from depression.
When I was in high school & university I kept a code that whenever someone ask me to lend them some money, I would either give it away and don't ask for return, or just decline if it's too much.
I didn't know was so much wiser back then.
When I started working and got more money, I started treating money less seriously. Before I knew it I was lending out more money than I earn each month, and the proverb keep proving itself true time and time again. Everyone has his own problems, and usually when comparing their current problem with a on-the-fly promise, the little promise just doesn't seem that important.
Last time I worked oversea, a lot of my friends asked me to help them buy stuffs. How eager they were, some even filled out the shopping cart for me and I only had to finishing the transaction.
When I came back to Vietnam, I had to go to every single house to give them their packages and get my money back. Some even took the package and delay payment until a month later. They are always nice and cool at the beginning, and cold and distant at the end. It's always them coming to your house to loan money, and you chasing them around for the pay.
Due to family problem I'm in a shortage of money right now. My headphone just broke last week and I don't have the money to buy a new one. I'm using a hand-me-down computer that is pretty fucked up, but I can't afford even a replacement part at the moment. No shit I even have to calculate how much money I will need to eat this month. But at the same time I still have several debtors. Each of them doesn't owe me much, but the sum of that could easily solve all the problems I have.
That is, if they pay me.
Dealing with one debtor is tiresome enough, having to chase 4 people around... I don't have the time and willpower to do that. It is both frustrating and saddening that you have to treat your friends like thieves, I just can't bring myself to do that. But I can't do nothing. Because even if I don't want to do anything I still have to count the money I have left until I starve to death.
The problem is, I'm in no position to lecture them. I still remember borrowing money from a person here on GVN, and ended up completely forgot about it until 2 YEARS later when she had to ask for it. Of course I did compensate for the late payment, but it didn't make me feel any less uncomfortable. I'm not outside the circle. I'm just another shit.
So, I guess from now on I should just stick to the code I had in high school days. Live so I don't have to borrow money from anyone, or to lend out money to anyone.
When I was in high school & university I kept a code that whenever someone ask me to lend them some money, I would either give it away and don't ask for return, or just decline if it's too much.
I didn't know was so much wiser back then.
When I started working and got more money, I started treating money less seriously. Before I knew it I was lending out more money than I earn each month, and the proverb keep proving itself true time and time again. Everyone has his own problems, and usually when comparing their current problem with a on-the-fly promise, the little promise just doesn't seem that important.
Last time I worked oversea, a lot of my friends asked me to help them buy stuffs. How eager they were, some even filled out the shopping cart for me and I only had to finishing the transaction.
When I came back to Vietnam, I had to go to every single house to give them their packages and get my money back. Some even took the package and delay payment until a month later. They are always nice and cool at the beginning, and cold and distant at the end. It's always them coming to your house to loan money, and you chasing them around for the pay.
Due to family problem I'm in a shortage of money right now. My headphone just broke last week and I don't have the money to buy a new one. I'm using a hand-me-down computer that is pretty fucked up, but I can't afford even a replacement part at the moment. No shit I even have to calculate how much money I will need to eat this month. But at the same time I still have several debtors. Each of them doesn't owe me much, but the sum of that could easily solve all the problems I have.
That is, if they pay me.
Dealing with one debtor is tiresome enough, having to chase 4 people around... I don't have the time and willpower to do that. It is both frustrating and saddening that you have to treat your friends like thieves, I just can't bring myself to do that. But I can't do nothing. Because even if I don't want to do anything I still have to count the money I have left until I starve to death.
The problem is, I'm in no position to lecture them. I still remember borrowing money from a person here on GVN, and ended up completely forgot about it until 2 YEARS later when she had to ask for it. Of course I did compensate for the late payment, but it didn't make me feel any less uncomfortable. I'm not outside the circle. I'm just another shit.
So, I guess from now on I should just stick to the code I had in high school days. Live so I don't have to borrow money from anyone, or to lend out money to anyone.
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