Silent tears of the poet

[logean]

Alright, just to inform, this thread is absolutely no place for troll, don't come in here, look at the post and then say "skip reading anything longer than 5 lines", this is not a cinema, so be smart. I have been here for quite a few times so I know how the initial content will be floated away and rubbish discussion bashes in, every poem in here is made with heart and soul, if you do it that way you're disrespecting the poet, if you don't have any respects or interest at all, this place is not for you.

Otherwise, welcome here as a poet, there is always a poet resides in you, as I firmly believe and please remember a few notices:
-You don't have to be the best poet ever live to make a post in here
-You don't have to subscribe daily or weekly, you can do it monthly or whenever you feel like
-Your form of poem could be in Vietnamese, French, English ... whatever language you like to put the emotions into words. However for Vietnamese poem, you can go to box Văn Học due to a large poetry thread is already there.
-Rap is not poem
-It must be your work (namely at least 99% of your work must pass a plagiarism scan, I won't scan, this is your responsibility and you're already grown up, so you know what to do), I don't want anything to do with plagiarism or copyright issues, which eventually might lead to a flame war.
-Translation from original poem is counted as plagiarism if there's no proper references, well, this is a controversial matter as many people like to make a joke to rules and regulation but nevertheless got a bullet proof over their lame post, basically I can't do nothing but lose my respect for you, as a fellow poet.
-No explicit language
-This place could be a chat room between us, but try not turning this into a confession box, means don't drag your personal issues here and make us listen, go to box "tâm sự" is a better idea. I will judge the content of your post (not your poem) and see if it's appropriate to be in this place, though it doesn't mean anything hostile, just rules.
-Content of your poem SHOULD NEVER be about our country's politic, I know poet should free his/her soul from the shackle of these things, but every place has their own rules, be nice and be with the team.
-You might get rep for your good work, even this is not the best place to make your debut but hey, we poet care nothing of the mundane world, the way we see the world and their are entirely two different dimensions.
-Don't be a baby when someone give comment to your work (e.g your grammar is not perfect, your flow of rhythm is kinda funky, I can't feel anything from reading your poems ...ect), if you want the reader to respect you, you have to respect them first, that means receive critics with an open arms. OR take your trash talking out of this place, otherwise I will have to ask for your post to be removed, you have been warned.
-As well as people who comment on the poet, the same rule apply to you, be nice or be gone.
-The content from page 1 to page 7 wasn't being applied with these following rules, this will be counted straight away from the moment this post is modified

I will hereby list a basic tutorial of how to rhyme a poem (aka poem for dummy), i'm no great poet but I have wrote a few poem and received positive acclaim, so I'm just offering what is in my head, take it or leave it is up to you.

i found out it's extremely easy to put in rhyme and set up consonances, you should try from the very short verse then develop the longer one, look at my poem from the 1st page to this page, i think you can see easily that the sentence of each poem getting longer day by day, cuss this is my training,too.

Actually, you should try the "rhyme couplet", it's a traditional way to make poem. Even Shakespeare loved it, he put it in his play as " Romeo and Juliet "... and i use it for many of my poems as well.

It should be like this (For instant):

[A,A]
[B,B]
[C,C]

or

[A]
[A]


[C]
[C]

or

[A]

[A]

(notice that i'm not gonna put a->b->c then start over again, it's kinda weird in poem...)

or the combiniation

[A,B]
[A,B]
[C,C]
[A,B]
[A,B]
[C,C]


For me, one thing more is also an important factor: emotion and inspiration.
I listen to emo music and read heart breaking mangas to get these feeling :p

i think it's need some example to understand it easier:

[A,A]
[B,B]
[C,C]
[D,D]

Trích dẫn:
"Call me by name, set love in flame
By crescent moon, beyond the blue lagoon
Live with me forever, thy beautiful flower
Eternal moonlight cascade on us, even we will be dust..."
I do it like that, the assonance and consonance are difficult for me to obtain in my poem , mostly rhyme.

So as you can see, my preferences is rhyming consecutively from verse to verse.

If you have any difficulty with rhyming, here's the kit to help you out real quick

http://www.rhymezone.com/

Hope we all have a good time :)

 

[Master Bate]

Who's the princess in this box? '__'
You mean pp?
P/s: Nice poem

 

[logean]

Today i was drunk and i decided to write everything in my mind out.And it seems to be....the longest piece i've ever written before

that's it,no princess in reality

if you want you can continue my piece,continue the journey of the young hawk to forgotten land

p/s:it is not very completed,without ryhme...

I think this is my better piece,i wrote it in one cold winter night,remember how much suffer i have to endure through 18 years,with all the words i have inside my heart.

http://forum.gamevn.com/showpost.php?p=6438904&postcount=15

 

[cloud952004]

That's a nice poem though I don't fully understand its meaning. However, I like " The truth ", don't know why but whenever I read it, I feel like someone's heart is crying in pain >.<, suffering but cannot escape from the sorrow >.>.

 

[Aceeto]

wow. impressive, respective :'>

 

[logean]

Thks you guys ^^

Even though something might not very clear in the piece,i believe that would be better than you fully understand it,i want everyone think on their way.

To be frankly,influence is come from the song "The Poet and The Pendulum" of Nightwish,Tuomas's song always great,some are painful,some are deep and unexpressed by words alone,i gonna make a piece like "Ocean Soul" ...in a near day,if i can.

Ocean soul

p/s: i will feel very happy if you guys can put your effort in a poem,too,it's a very good way to study English and advence your skill in writing.My piece is tooooo longggggg >__<,normally just need a piece of 1-4 lines is enough.

Looking forward to see you guys give me some nice poem ^^

 

[logean]

Rapture night

One more dark night
Holds by chain tight
With all her might
She wants to die

His smile and breath
Drown her beneath
Rapture and pain
Bonding by chain

“These forlorn pieces of my heart
Is for you, eternity
I never know love but only pleasure
The beast is with me, caging me
Savor me by his bestiality
Forever damnation is for me”

Listen to that scream
Even it’s unseen
From the deepest lair
The melody of scare

The night massacre
In that she is free
All her joy and tear
Make me hurt and fear

“My chamber has a shape of grave
All yours shadow engraved this place
Long before my poem was withered
How far I was condemned as sinner?

All the suffer she endured
Also her joy and pleasure
For nothing she could'nt fight
Always it's her rapture night.

The gloomy moon rised the end
In blackened dawn she died in pain."



​

 

[logean]

Ocean's Tale

Would you spend a night with me in here?
In this cradle of life,so much fear
Heaven now so blue,without your smile
Give me one more breath and make me alive
I will hold your hands and cry out my pain
Countless nights of rain,how insane
Forever, I stand alone and my skin turned to stone
A hollow soul was soaring in cold
Slumbering within the shell of memory
In deep dark Ocean I heard your lullaby
How were we chanting under the same sky
Hoped and dreamed so high
In dream I remember it so well
For long it's became the Ocean's tale.​

 

[logean]

Death Wish

The flower has fallen from the tree
As time passed, seasons come toward me
For last winter cascaded the breeze
Silent and sadness in my heart seized

“Raging red night of dellusion
Transforming through all illusion
A young butterfly escapes confusion
From the cocoon of devotion

In silence I seek my rebirth
On this turmoil planet Earth
To die I shall be the first
Of pleasure that fulfil my thisrt”

The tears are falling from her face
Of unforgiven sin and disgrace
Through this night are fury and blaze
A shadow stand and weep at his grave"

​

 

[cruelshade]

That's nice
To me, writing poems in English is very difficult

 

[Okazaki Tomoya]

Absolutely.
Those are nice, even without rhythm, as long as you can feel the feelings of author.

 

[hanhito]

well... that's kinda impossible to me...

 

[logean]

Oh..i've been commenting , such a nice surprise ^^

I'm still amateur,but al i want to do is express my heart, through the poem,with or without the rhyme

And still, today no one like to write a little nice piece of poem in here (i can see that Mr.Hanhito have a nice one but just a little piece of the whole one,i'd love to see the full one)

Now,i'd like to present a new one (w/o ryhme),named

The Angel's Shadow

Fire feast your body
Was it hot, did you scream
I cant be there,but soon
My soul will join you

Crying and mourning
For mercy of angel
Who ‘s taken your soul
Who will never return it to you

I wished I could feel
The pleasure you’re feeling there

How glad to know
Your sorrow has been vanished
Of all your life
There was no happiness

Don’t hate me
I just want to be with you
Don’t hide me
All I want is to be with you

Angel plucked my wings
And ripped my heart
But I can still live on
Because I’m here with you​

 

[RATField]

There's something I feel like saying.

As I've read all your poem that posted, I found out that you're like a child, wandering around in pains, knowing no way to escape the reality in your world.

For someone who's studied English for many years, also someone who's a writer and possess a past with full of sorrowness and lonliness; I can see through all those rythm and poet, a person that's being stuck in his own way of thinking. I, too, stucking in my life, with no happiness, no future. I think I am dead, sometimes. But maybe half of me is still alive, that's the part belong to the life. The life I am studying, rejected me. But I know, soon, the thing I am finding will reveal. It's not anything that exists in this world. Not a thing that matters. It's the ring of life. You can fly, sink, or just go with it. But there's no way you can stand in one spot with its flowing lines.

Only some words and phrases from your poems can move others, since they're even higher than their levels of awareness about life. Yours is pro and super, but it's way to dark, for everyone to see your heart's true identity. You cannot go out of the ring, then you howl to break them, or fly in your imagination? Just that, know yourself first; witness yourself then use it. If you don't know a thing well, don't think of controlling it. You cannot see even a slightest thing if you don't want to see. Just that, if you don't want to fly, angel(yourself?) will rip you wings. That's all.

There is no happiness in life. Unhappiness neither. Forgive yourself for that.

Singing heart

I am here, where I was
Since the day Earth has stopped moving
Like the universe has
I am dead

Dead to see everything
To clear the lives
As the lives cannot go out the life
I find the truth

As to my long waiting
You are nowhere to reach
You are everything to see
You are living

But one day I will fly
To the heighs of darkness
There's no light in its lake
But nothing will matter

If I don't clear up everything
I still go on then die
I will vanish like you did
Though I truggle hard

I know nothing to do
But seeing you die first
In my heart of hatred
Sorrow of Sins

Nothing else matters
Nothing could matters
If you don't exist
You value all things

If the name I call
Destiny, was it
Is not wrong enough
I will hold you tie

Just that, I wanna live
With you till the end
No end will matters
For the struggle I got

I live in the dakr
I fly in the light
I create everything
So I can be God

That's not matter
You are not exist
So am I
I am dead

Knowing nothing...
And my heart's rotten
With the light of heart
The light of darkness

Continue singing
The heart of a fly
Naturally with Earth
Small like the dust...
...Free like the wind

Nothing else matters​

 

[logean]

True, all my work just surround something without hope and light, for me, if you want to feel pleasure, a first thing i must know is pain.

You need to die to feel alive.

Dont worry for me, i appriciate your comment much, but all i want to know now is "will i know the true happiness with all the pain i had inside, do i have it enough to feel the true happiness that i always long for"

And your poem , it's very nice, about hope and peace, through time of remorse and crying, you seem has found the "true happiness" after all....i glad for you.

I'm still searching,maybe it will be forever,i will never know until the day i return to ashes...

 

[logean]

Fantasy Tragedy

A cold night of fantasy
Asleep into my tragedy
In our choking life story
Embrace your last breath and me

Poison bring us to paradise
Torn apart but never die
Storm and darkness are behind
Finally we saw the light

“Candles light and deadly venom
The letter baptized in blood
A smile on their face
Is this what they were wishing for so long
The eternity”

Let they play the threnody
We obsessed that melody
Tears have fallen for memory
“Farewell and be free”

Hold my hand once again
Under the moonlight we dance
Forever our pain had ended
Sing and dance until the end

“In that night two were gone
As it was written in this poem
They were one soul in two body
Their death didn’t mean tragedy
For what they call it’s fantasy
Forever it will remain in my memory”
​

 

[RATField]

Well, all I want to let ya know is, if I don't make friends with ya, I'm a scum letting oppotunies passing by. You have your our way of creation and foundation. There's no similarities(if yep, that's just illusion that human beings created their own.) in eachs way, since there's endless lives and endless colors in this world. You have your own way.

To tell the truth, I'm still seeking for it, but after a long struggle, I found out I can't stand in one spot(like I said), and also, whatever I do, obssessed with my pains or forget or forgive or take revenge, etc., I still don't have enough time to live, I will still perish one day. There's no change, so why do I have to be sad and be bad all the time? It solves nothing, also good boys solves nothing, but I prefer the good ones. That's what I want to become.

Y'know, we all passed through many same stages to the level of acquiring "right knowledege about life". I don't care if anyone say that you are at the lower levels than mine, or vice versa. That's not matter. Knowledge, and judgement, then everying, are all ashes and dust, like the knowledge you've burnt to kill your pain, like the same deserted ways and places you are staying to rest your wounds. That's foolish, y'know.

It's been so long since my last time writing out my own creation, like mangas or fic, music and poems. But I'm glad I wrote. For what I don't care, for who I don't mind. I only know, I wanna be strong. For what? If I am strong, then I can make others smile when I do things, and they will cry when I lie down and die. That's just the simplest thing in everyone's happiness. I found out that, when I found the supreme unhappiness. If I don't do that, if I have nothing to protect, I am no more than a worm. Crawling and do the facking stuffs. I don't want that. I wanna be...the one I don't know, at least can get the hell out of my way : I try to walk alone, and walking alone, but feel nothing since I've been used to loneliness and deserting...but I feel like I need more...then I try to understand the world, then I found out I am being out of it, the thing called "Life". I found out, half of my soul is DEAD.

Just that, I don't wanna be a Zombie. I don't wanna be anything that's worthless of living. I just wanna love and be loved. Although the girl I've been loving for 5 years rejected me, and I haven't had any girlfriends. That's no matter. I have the right to live. My own ways. My own soul. Warm and worth.

I am the Flying Fly. That's enough. To be happy.

To get out of the Life is not easy. But when I was being half out of it, I want to return into it. And returning is not easy, too. But I will do it. For the dreams I see the girl I love. For the ultimate happiness and supreme unhappiness I feel whenever I see her in my dreams.

To her, I am not any special person. And I won't going to try anything on her. But I will live my life. I won't abandon it like others did.

That's not just love you see. That's not just relationships you have. You will see it yourself. Don't let yourself be blind.

If human only see things they wanna see, they will have the ability to see the things they want to.

Last Dream Of The Fly : The Final Confrontation at The City of Loss
(Inspired from my fic The Source of Worlds : Events of Death)

Last night I see you
In the star ocean
Above all the things
And little flies somewhere

Being a third person
I see you walking
Boyfriend if you catch
Hand in hand happy

There's no way out
That the time has stop
You are still the same
At the park of life

How much time have it
Been just thousands years?
Or just that I had
Had a bad dream

Once again you said
There's no one playing
But the song of gods
Flows from nowhere

Flying my own world
My created damned thing
Can't hold just the sad
Little love I have

I sighed, then look up
There's the scenes of yours
In nowhere's world
Couple of Eternity

Sighed again I cry
Just one more dream
And the time will stop
I'll see you again

I walked in darkness
I walked in sorrow
Nothing stoped me
But only you, girl

World have no meanings
You have no ending
Or my girl I said
Destiny of mine

There was just a fly
That's dreaming so bad
Flying out so fast
Disobeying the Flies

The line of the Death
When I see you sad
When I see you cry
You doomed everyone

The dreaming flies
An old tale has got
Said to be legend
All dead in a town

One night of nightmare
Adventure to Death
To meet you the last
To know even more

There's you the Boss
Creating illusions
We are all stupid
Charmed by the light

We were all ended up
In the fire of life
As you have summoned
The End of all Desires

Why only me left
Why only I live
To see just the truth
The face of you, girl

The last Boss I finish
Was the dearest one
Was the girl I love
As a skeleton

In the room of Death
Darkness was all thing
But I was crawling
Holding tie your corpse

In the end I asked
Why I had to fight
Why there's no stop
Like I worth suffering

Then I see the Source
Badass of all things
You there, you scum
Made all us dying

You don't even breath
You said something true
"Boy you are dead"
I found out the sin

I collapsed to the ground
Can't just sense a thing
Final time I ask
What's this mean to be

I had no stop
I killed everyone
To the end of this?
What just I've received?

Then I know the truth
I am just a fly
Dreaming in the dark
Illusions of my own

Get out all of this
I howl in my mind
Then I try fire up
The last pieces of soul

In the dark of dark
There's a light behold
There's a hope of last
From a firefly's life

"He's just a loss"
"He's just a worm"
The Boss said then smile
While the flies take off

Just a piece of cake
Just a game of dust
A life of a fly
Which just burnt all off

That's all he could do
The best he have done
The last fire on Earth
No matter the night

Darkness has no changes
Light has not changed
There's was no lies
Or just silly truth

That's all a life can
A fire of spirit
In the night of Death
The end of all thing

So the last dream ended
He woke up stupidly
He's the champion
Of the Fifth Event

No one knows of it
The last light of a fly
Firefly, he said
Though he forgot all

That's the way he did
He continue the life
Without knowing the truth
Without even see the life

Then he will join us
The Flies of the Life...
​

End...please sit back relax while waiting for the Sixth Events. Arigatou Gozaimasu.

Well...It's from one of my fic. This fic was written based completely on my dreams, in which a dream can draw one stage or just half of it(there was 10 stages in that Event). I forgot all them...untill one dream, I was told that I joined the last event and I have to join the next event, too, since I am the champion of the last event, then I remembered all them. I even recalling them through many dreams now...heh heh...the ideas from my dreams was not affected from any things I've seen in this world, including manga, anime, film, poems, fic, music, games, etc. I was so surprising myself so I built a fic from it. Using it to write your own ideas is stealing my creation, y'know. Don't do so...heh heh.

 

[logean]

RATField
First of all, I do not deserve your praise,everything I do is begun from the same reason as you do,you creat your own universe to free yourself, through the creation of your fic, poem, imagination. In this sea of life, I dwell in the deepest place, I don’t have enough guts to face the “real” life, I never speak out the truth, I never help anyone before, , I’m the true scum one. I locked myself behind the door, this life is full of madness for me, which is the lie and which one is the truth, I never know, and I don’t want to know, and what I’m telling you, is the confession from the bottom of my heart.
What I’m doing is the only to the salvation inside me, those words on my “poem”…for me it’s nothing but a mere of little light that shine in my heart, it can’t help me to become better, I’m not trying to polish myself, but releasing the dying breath inside me, I’m not worthy to think of,even tobe your friend.
But so far, you’re the only one who see my poem as a signal, I think, we better know each other well before something happen and I regret that I cant and never know that there’s someone also walking the same path that I do, that also a great loss for me,as well.
I don’t know how long will we see each other as friend, maybe after 1 weeks, I’m busy with studying, you busy with your life….and don’t even remember how we come to know each other. However, that’s worth to have a little fun with who like to make poem,so far … ^^

This part give me most impression,currently the best,because there are: tear,fear,anger,sorow,love,tragedy...all in this phrase,it's moved my heart.

In the room of Death
Darkness was all thing
But I was crawling
Holding tie your corpse

If you like fiction, will you join me in the round fiction contest I’m gonna open ?

 

[RATField]

I don't care for anything you have in your head or just the self-hiding of your is what what what what that I never understand. I will tell you what I mean. All in my heart and mind is not that easy and simple, but I know if I don't go for the details, you might still understand.

There was a me that I know is similar to you. I crawled in pains, darkness and all; naturally just because of mistreat from others, naturally I turned to a person hates himself and all humanity, so much that he refuses himself to be human being, and only like Mother Nature(even until now I still call her like that). I transformed myself in my mind from rat, horse, whale, bufalo(it lacks one "f" in it. You will understand why) then cat.

I divided myself to 9 persons with different names and things. I had to learn all things about the life myself so my progression was a little bad and slow. 5 years ago, had I forbidden myself to have bad emotions less and should not have extreme bad emotion like hatred, anger or sorrow; so that I won't walk on the wrong path to the evil. I was so foolish, huh? Then I tried to be a person that's not good not bad, not god nor human, nothing can affect.

Last year, I found out how to love myself, and know who myself is and what I am doing. That's when all the persons in my mind become one, and I found out I was being out of the life, which I called *nhân sinh*. I spent more and more time analyze it, until I know that I don't receive things that it give to the ones being in it. Last month I found out how to forgive myself and all things...I evolved then tried coming back to the life.

That's when I know the thing : If human want to, they will see. Also, at that time nothing would stop me anymore, for exactly, nothing would stop my mind. Nothing else matters, since everything has a meaning. That's the old thing I know when I was 17, but now it's started to have new meanings. "That's how it is". I know now, "nothing else matters".

If the one who are in lower levels(in the Mastery of Consciousness) than me said so(I even said so when I was 15); then why didn't I see that even my life doesn't matter and even the Darkness I am being in and even all my pains? That's all I can say, when I think of a new tittle while listening to the song "This is why I'm hot".

"I'm hot 'cause I fly, you hate 'cause you're not"

Natural as a fly I did. I became the Flying Fly, the God of Flies

I talked too much. You may understand all without even my words.

Well, to tell the truth, I have read many poems but never written any before. I've just written two, as posted above. My main products are on fics, mangas, and music. It's so thankful of you that you raised the inspiration of poems in me. It's been so long since my last time write/draw out any of my creation stored in my mind. I intended to keep them for myself...for ever. Since I don't have enough time to learn, why should I waste time create things? That's the stupid thought, but it's true.

And right now, I don't care if I write another poem, but the frog in the dwell will finally come to the ocean(Please read HunterxHunter chap 383, http://vnsharing.net/forum/showthread.php?t=1733); so do whatever you think is right for you.

About the contest, I've participated many before and this week I've lost a contest(without even any prize) although I won 2 times first place. The conclusion is : my last fic was too complicated and pros that others couldn't understand! I would participate if I have time. Thanks for the invitation.

I am now a human being again, thanks to many mangas and anime and games and music, also many pains, and people, in which there's you and also many of my friends. I am now normal, again, after a so-called long time of 8 years.

Last words of this bullshit : I would be a firefly in the end of my life, even if the whole life of mine I've been just a dead fly in deep shit of the darkness or anything. Your life is not only the way you live it, but also the beautiful scenes you do right before you die. Because If you have nothing to protect, you are no more than a worm. What a man can be, he should be.

Last battle of the Prototype X
(Inspired from the fic The Source of Worlds : Prototype X)

Here I am longing
At the core of it
The Core of the Death
Legend of the Life

It belongs to Gods
But it is raging
For the hand of dirt
Embracing tie the Cane

Why I sadly ask
Once again you say
"You've ask no more
But the Tea of Death"

"Your tea was always good
Like the light of Life
Unresistably you had
The Tea from you heart"

Once again I drink
My best Tea of Heart
It's delicious
Like it've always been

Why it's so sad
You smile so bright
Oh the Tea of Death
Too, unresistably

The energy of it
You've drawn to it
You've lost your heart
My best friend of heart

Now you're there so big
The last enemy
I will have to take
God, why am I crying

He's so strong to take
Stomps on me so good
Take on me so fast
I lost completely

In the shadow of day
There was two brightest
One light now have dead
The Prototype of Sin

Last glance of my eyes
Met a thing I worship
Here the girl I love
The Prototype of All

Caress me all het best
Healed me by the light
Tried all way to talk
"Are you ok, dear"

When I've been dead
She came out of light
No sin, and no place
Can replace her arms

That was...the last
Scenes of her light
One lance of the Death
Thrusted through her heart

Howling ripped my chest
Stood up all I can
I revived here now
Just to see she falls

My friend of childhood
You've killed my hope
You've killed my light
You behold the Light

Blood comes out of hands
Holding tie the blade
Shiver in the truth
Till the root of heart

There was nothing left
In the end of day
Even there was hope
You KILLED ALL THEM

You deserve DYING
The Tea of the Death
I've drunk that too
There's nothing left

Smile again you ask
"Are you just wanna die
Or live free in a place
Where you don't behold"

Suddenly I stop
The rage in my chest
Look down then mix up
The Tea of my heart

You looked happy then said
"Hey, I wanna one"
Both of us were just
Wanna to have a tea

After that last tea
All of them were dead
All part of the Death
Broken, vanish all off

In the last instant
There was a slightest
Light of supreme clash
Came from those two

Peace then came again
To the land of Dark
There was not a dust
In the wind of end

That was just a tale
Where evil and good
All came to an end
They were all perished

Smile happy you ask
"Why would you tell me?
Such so sad stories
Moved me to tears

Make me wanna love
You even much more?"
Smile brightly I say
"Why don't you just look
That's the nicest dawn
Since there's you
On park-bench in Dark
And I am watching
Myself in the Light"​

This poem needs a picture in which there's a couple, the boy's stand in the red-yellow sunlight of the end of the day, while the girl is sitting on the park-bench in the shadow. Both of them were shining so badly beautifully. Oh my, I should stop now, or my heart will get even higher inspiration.

 

[logean]

All words you've told me come from your heart?
So it's not bullshit or piece of crap, you have been brave to let those thought come out. It's not wrong to feel a little different compare to the other , nothing disgraceful when you want to see your life in different way (By splitting your personality) , I like people like you, you put your thought into life and try to reflect where are you in there, it’s must have been a hard time for you before you decide to free yourself by flying high than the other, left everything behind and be with the joy of the world (which you call “Mother Nature”). I think…people like you and me, always want everything to be good and perfect, we are not easily satisfied with this life, asking ourselves many times the same question but no one answer. Feeling we were being deceived by the words of society, of other, i slowly become the thing that I've been disgusted, with awareness.
Let my poem express what I’m feeling:

Let me say it again...

All you see in here
Is my endless fear
Lost in their lies
Lost in my life

Since when it began
Had this frightened pain
That thing to be me
What I’ve diseased

You gave me first love
But that will be hurt
For this withered heart
You’re not the first

This constant nightmare
Only you to share
You shall be the end
Of my endless pain
​

About your poem : i think it's a little bit long, it made me confused to see your meaning in each phrase,and the whole poem.Could you write it shorter but still fill enough what you want to tell ?
Anyway,nice ^^